i cant feel anytink,so stop addin e wrong ingredients in2 me =(

match wif SCGS
walao i was actually excited 2 play wif them de loh cuz they're much pro-er than previous schs loh
den ya really pretty excited 2 play wif them =)
then cldnt concentrate durin lessons.esp aft cl.when we'd been readin cl newspapers.u noe.small words!!den math she crappin.el quite interactive but still borin!

slacked in canteen.its nt gd 4 me.lol.den team bondin.tok.watch ldrship tink.go on bus,noisy haha.[nt part of pre-match preparation]

realised i muz keep my tempo thr thruout.
o n i shldnt hav gathered at theresa thr when she say gather cuz her eyes alr red le la.ususally strt match b4 is lyk "JY we can do it" etc said confidently la.but ya.she lyk gonna cry b4 e match even strt.yes.so tis is e 1st tink tt triggered e "fear" in me.but in respect i listerened 2 her la.lol.n tend 2 maintain eye contact.heh.so thr goes.n idiotic celine said sth lyk racket string snap n if she say cannot accustom 2 e other racket i wld really knock her head la.=P.pretty much i was stiff durin e 1st 11pts cuz mayb la,nvr mve around reason?i dunno.or im nt used 2 strtin wid "movin opponents" 1st.actually i feel more confident wid offensive play n movin opponents shldnt b used so early in e game i just realised.n b4 tt celine tt me movin opponent was actually wee's idea instead of hers.lol i b4 tt tot she gt pretty much gd reasons 2 mve opponents 1st-hand.n i hate 2 b e only party givin ideas durin match.irritatin.combinatn gt prob cuz i juz cant get myself 2 trust celine i dunno Y.i was so stiff durin e match tt i F-in 4gotten i cld hav lifted mayb 1 reason tt stopped me fm doin so was e opponent may smash n my partner may nt b able 2 take it la.n F-in Hellz e nxt time im lyk gonna squash e shuttle n change it 2 my sch's 1 la,lol n den i wld stop in e mid of e game n wipe sweat or sth.lol n yt efforts lyk so gone cuz wee juz dunno how 2 put line-ups.even yt better than him loh.lolx.yes.nw i realise doubles aint as slack n thr is 1 imp tink in it.默契.tis can dominate e game seriously.if its thr,wow,audience literally cannot c e shuttle.cuz it'll b sth lyk "helpin out" ea other darn frequently.n it is very cool.well 1 tink i actually lyk in doubles is speed n noein tt thr is sum1 hu can cover u if u smash,well of coz if e partner is observant as in those kind ppl tt uses e edge of their eyes 2 "mia0" their partner,est e place they're at,tink its better off they nid help?or nt.i tink basically thr was lots of 矛盾in my game 2day.basically i dun feel anytink.im seriously.except 4 e fear my team instilled in me,lol.mm..hesistatn,doubts,uncertainty,rush?.i do nt noe WTH i was playin 2day,it was nt my fullest potential i cld obtain n im very sad i didnt do my best 4 e opponent.its lyk lettin them dwn n my team n teachers n sch dwn too =/.i still rmb i went 4 xtra lessons was bcuz SCGS motivated me 2 do so loh.haha.e 1st trg was on Vday =P.i tink?so went e phrase"success lies in nvr makin e same mistake.a 2nd time"n tis yr they motivated me once agn.in another way/sense of coz.i tink tis is my long term goal currently,mayb aft e competitn[but im losin confidence alr,im unsure!]:1)train footwork & service.nvr neglect e basics.2)find someone hu really loves badminton!n is strong.n will train wif me 4 min 1 yr,target:4 times per wk.but nt sure Jesslyn tt side how.but muz c AMK match 1st den decide i guess?0o.im nt sure nw.lolx.yea,or else im gonna try singles!hehe.mayb sum ppl alr tink im crazy alr but yea.at least solo,u noe wad ur doin,u do wad u wan,u b a loner in e court.lolx.heh.
but still today,Joanne ur stupid,u cant outwit e opponents/coach n u r so stiff/tense.u listened 2 e others,even when ur in doubt of it/even when its wrong.u subjected 2 peer pressure,loosenin urself.u allowed e opponents 2 keep scorin.u dint ask 4 a break.u listened 2 wee even when u dun understand,u strained 2 hear it.ur frightened.of losing,of havin 2 regain e team's confidence,or thrash it.ue frightened of ur opponents,standing so near,of e high service tt cld go wrong,of settin up e wrong stage 4 ur partner.ur afraid.tts y u tried playin safe.u attempted 2 wanna play safe,but ended up movin e opponents.u didnt protest 2 e strategy.u didnt attempt 2 change it.u played a shuttle tt went out n u freakin lked lyk u didnt mind! but actually u did,deep dwn,ur worried,of stuffs tt u shldnt hav nid 2.everytink else shld hav been perfectly natural bcuz im nt affected my cheers anymore. thrs juz tis doubt in u.u cant get urself 2 trust.u cant get urself 2 trust.u cant.u cant.


hoho,compare tis yr entry wif 08' feb 1s !